So here it is… the first Week I started back home.
I got back home on Wednesday (which was Day 245 of the ‘living out of a backpack’ quest)
Many people asked how it is being back and most of the time my answer is, it’s odd.
It truly is… but the really weird thing is how it is completely normal.
Last week I was walking on the seaside in a sunny autumn day in Barcelona and yesterday I was walking around the neighborhood to stroll while it’s snowing, and it feels absolutely natural. Sure the most useful skillset I had during the trip was adjusting to the new scenes of my life very quickly, but still…
There are sooo many things that are different in this daily reality from the one I had on the go for most of the year and switching back to this makes the whole trip feel like a dream already. This is the 5th day since I’m back and it already feel like it was a long time ago… or rather, it wasn’t even true. THAT is weird.
Anyway… here I am now. Tomorrow I’ll be catching up with friends from here and reconnecting with many beloved people – I’m sure that meeting them will make me more grounded and I’ll be in the state of overflowing love just as much as I was on my farewell party. I’m grinning already just from the thought of hugging these folks again.
I’ve been a hermit in the past few days, just breathing, working on things, painting, reading, and reconnecting with people from other places over the web and trying to gather some of my ideas on the ‘now what’. I know that soon enough I’ll have to answer that question for myself. Others have started asking me that already and I’ve been asking myself as well… I have many ideas, many dream-bits, but no plans. There are a few things I’d need to know more about before I can pick a path. I want to talk to people and explore ideas further before I commit to anything.
I love the freedom of choice, but, man, when I have to make that choice I realize how much I struggle with making decisions. Haha 😀 Ohwell…
For now, one of my quests is to make sure that as I go on with my daily life, I identify the habits that are connected to this place, this reality. Habits that I managed to change when I was at other places, surrounded with different people. I catch myself falling back to bad habits and as I realize that I try to make a conscious effort to hold on to new ones or at least making a mental note to bring the new ones to this rhythm as well later on if I can.
There were some precious little rituals in my life that I grew to like a lot and there were things, that I experienced through living with certain people, things that I want to bring into the life I build for myself. For example having a daily routine that includes quiet time, eating better, going outside more even when I don’t have a “reason” to, approaching communication differently, develop a better sense of listening and building relationships in which I also feel heard.
The logistics of life will have to be put together as well of course – income, home and such quests, do I stay at home, do I look for opportunities elsewhere? Do I look for a job or do I try to build myself one? Do I look for an apartment here or in some other country? Do I want to set out travelling again? If so, would I do it the same way? Many questions that I honestly don’t know the answer to yet…
Let’s just breathe and process things for another week, shall we?
