Hello 2018,

I still have no idea of what I’m doing, I’m still battling with crazy thoughts, indecisiveness, too many ideas, no commitment, fear of growing roots and all the other lovely things.

I’m still at home, less of a hermit these days – managed to catch up with some people and reach out to others – I’m trying to push myself to be productive as well as social.

So what comes next?
As usual, I’m juggling a few things, not committing 100% energy to anything (I’m not sure yet if that out of fear or if that’s just my wiring… we shall see), but at least now I sort of have a main focus. I booked a flight and arranged a host – I am going to Bologna again this year.
I’m going to attend the children’s book fair and I really hope that this time, being a bit more aware of how things work over there, I can perform a bit better. Right now the primary goal is to rework my portfolio for that event and I aim for contacting publishers with it before I get there.
Ideally I would be able to set up interviews with places that are interested in working with me and arrange the rest of my attendence around that. I don’t know what are my chances, but I’ll give it a go. If nothing works out, I can still just go, queue up for portfolio reviews, try to make connections.

This time I will hopefully be less overwhelmed to begin with – not having the pending issue of “where the hell do I sleep” that I had last year would be great. Fingers crossed.

The ticket I booked is one way only…

I don’t yet know if I’m staying longer, if I move on from there or come home. I contacted one person on Workaway to ask about their availability and also browsed around a bit for interesting projects in different parts of Europe as well as a few flight options. I don’t know what I’m up to yet…  Probably I should have a bit of “breathing time” after the event, organizing my notes, contacting the people I meet there, taking their advice and applying newfound knowledge, but doing so could be possible in a work-for-shelter environment as well if it’s the right one.

…

The other stable point of the year is that I want to go to Leeds again. I had such a blast at the Thought Bubble festival, that it is a MUST… I talked to a friend and we decided to apply together for a table to exhibit. In all honesty, I’m scared as hell.. I never did anything like that… But I applied and they shall decide if I’m a right fit for the event or not. If not, I’m going to be a jolly little volunteer again. And even if they accept it, I want to work on the setup and wrap up process – it was just too much fun not to do so… plus if I have to table, it will be great to take my mind off the stress of that with having things to do 😀
But I should know more about that sometime in February. Until then, that quest line is back in the shadows. 🙂 I’ll deal with it when it comes forward…

What else? Humm.. not sure.. I’m sketching, painting, getting in touch with fellow artists, try to poke both myself and other to stop overthinking everything, to dare to try and to start getting things done. It’s alright… we can do this! 🙂

Jump!